longing

There is a thing that I have begun to tell myself, whenever I remember. When I am tempted to covet or long for something in a deep "If I only had this..." kind of a way, I think about what I already have. I say, "Is all that not enough, are you so selfish and greedy that you want those shoes or that guitar, or that look, too." I am not talking about desire in a casual way. I am talking about desire in a lustful way.

that is all

for now

I'm addicted?

I have started a special diet that includes the tire- screeching, whiplash-inducing halt of sugar consumption. This includes fruit, honey and the like.

It is interesting how sweet other foods seem to become when I am not eating sugar. For example carrots, onions, and almonds seem much sweeter now.

well I would have never imagined that I would crave sweet things so much. It is unbelievable. I have never tried to kick a habit, before. At least nothing that I can think of that make me have such strong cravings.

but I seem to have more energy.

Sincerely

braden

January

Hi

I have been very tired lately and I haven't written much.

I was at a birthday dinner last night. It was at a restaurant. We were all sitting at a long table when we heard the rhythmic clapping. Most everyone seated at our table started clapping too. The one with the birthday got excited. As the clapping approached it suddenly turned it was someone else's birthday too.

Then most of the wait-staff got in a line and did a really awkward line dance.

The end.

Walk with God

The other day I found myself thinking, “I bet I would be good at.... I wish I could do that.” Then I though, “Then I could deeply serve and honor God.”

I remember back to when I was a freshman in high school. I was in Tae Kwon Do, testing to for my black-belt. Before the test, our teachers told us, “Listen, the Grand Master has seen and can do much more amazing breaks (we would break boards and bricks) than you can do. So don’t try to show off and then fail the break. Do what you know you can do.”

I think that there is an interesting comparison between this and in what I stated first. In what I stated first, I was wanting to do great things. I was trying to justify myself.

The thing is God can do, has done, and has had people do much greater things than me. If he wanted great things, he could easily do it. Instead what he wants is obedience.

Man, when I say that it sounds like obedience must be following all the rules. What I’m thinking is, didn’t Jesus say that the the way to sum up all the rules is to love God and love people? How can I fall in love with God? Or how can a person fall in love with God if they don’t know who he is?

I just heard a sermon that said this a different way. Immanuel means God with us. What other God lives with people? As far as I know they are said to be up in the heavens, or in holy places. This sermon was saying that our culture makes action the most important. So in churches people put their value in doing programs. The thing that is the most important is living with God in present circumstances.

Insects

I had a desire to see the large historical changes in the earth such as the ice age and such. I realized that in one way I have. Compared to animals with short life spans, like bugs, I see great changes. I can imagine bugs that live less than a day saying things to each other, “scientists have rumors that there was a time when large balls of water twenty times the size of us fell and some people got caught in them and died.” And Zippy-The-Fly would say, “Dude, do you actually believe that? I suppose you also believe that the eternal frost is coming too?”

The first fly would say, “I saw one of the big balls of water once, they call it a raa-ine drup.”

“It’s a rain drop.”

“That’s what I said.”

“And you saw it when you were a larva. You can’t remember clearly what life was like then.”

“You’re just jealous that I know more about this world than you do.”

“Than you think you know.”

“Whatever.”

NoNe

Wow I has been a long time since I posted.

I have some Indian Clubs that my parents sent me. I say to myself, "I'm going clubbing tonight." They are used for exercise. Check out this old time writing I found on a Indian Club website. Sorry I don't remember which site it is from.

Indian clubs, along with other forms of rhythmic gymnastic exercises, were associated with “muscular Christianity,” a social gospel that affirmed the importance of physical fitness for mental and moral improvement. Proper physical exercise built bodily strength and, with it, character and righteousness—shaping young men for God’s work, and for the nation’s.2

Gymnastic exercises—ideally, ones that exercised all the muscles in a balanced fashion and combined all ranges of motion—were said to counteract the dangerous tendencies toward nervous exhaustion, moral dissipation, and spiritual decadence associated with modern life in the big cities. Moses Coit Tyler, who would become the first professor of history in the United States, explained (in the words of the fictional Judge Fairplay of Brawnville): “It is as truly a man’s moral duty to have a good digestion, and sweet breath, and strong arms, and stalwart legs, and an erect bearing, as it is to read his Bible, or say his prayers, or love his neighbor as himself.”3

In 1861, Amherst College was the first to introduce physical culture and gymnastics—including exercises with Indian clubs—as a required subject at the collegiate level.4 Physical exercise came to be regarded as a mark of manliness and a religious and patriotic duty. By 1901, 270 colleges offered physical education, 300 city school systems required physical exercises, 500 Young Men’s Christian Association (YMCA) gymnasiums had 80 000 members, and more than 100 gymnasiums were associated with athletic clubs, military bases, and other institutions.

Second Grade and Beyond

You know when I was in the second grade we had to write a report on parts of the human body. I picked the brain. I remember a distinct feeling about it like it fit me. It felt like I was meant to write about the brain. Anyway, I remember writing the phrase, “I could go on and on.” I also remember my teacher pointing this out to my parents and I remember hearing them laugh, saying something like, “Why don’t you go on and on?” to which I thought, I don’t want to it would take up to much time and space on the paper. I cared too much about saving paper. I didn’t think that it would help the environment to save paper. I just have a personality that tends to be concerned that things will run out so I save them. This attitude about paper made it so that I would cram my class notes on to one sheet. To me that was what was important. I would look at other people who took pages and pages of notes and think that might be easy to read, but I only used one page. To me taking notes wasn’t a step in the process of learning material meant to be read during studying. For me it was only a requirement imposed by the educator that had to be met. I rarely studied my notes. They were also a foul representation of what I considered to be the drudgery that was public school. So I didn’t like to even look at them.