Well I would like to tell two stories of how I have been pursuing a more unified relationship with my wife.
My wife loves basketball. I don’t hate basketball, but did hate watching it. I am terrible at playing it, is the main thing. My wife loves playing and watching it. So I sat down before we were married and tried to watch a game. It was painful, very painful. But I just sat and watched. When a negative comment rose up in my head about basketball, I shut it off (the comment, not the basketball). I kept watching for about an half an hour. One day while checking email, I looked up the Detroit Pistons (my wife’s favorite team). Later I sat down to another game, all along promoting good thoughts in my head and discouraging bad ones. I can honestly say that I enjoy watching basketball now. Although we don’t watch that much because we only get one tv channel.
The other story has to do with a band that my wife likes but I totally didn’t enjoy listening to. Much like basketball, it was a bit painful. I knew it was something she enjoyed. This is a fairly miraculous story because music for me is much more emotional and hits my core. I wasn’t too excited to try to learn to like this band. I started with putting the music on my music player. Later when I was going to listen to some music I would make myself listen to this band for at least a song or two, all the while ignoring negative thoughts, and try to just listen. The first couple times it was hard. As I listened it got easier because I became familiar with some of the songs. It wasn’t until just today that I listened and the most interesting thing happened. I enjoyed the music, but more than that I really liked it. It was unlike any experience I have had, not more intense but different. I have never enjoyed music like I did that time. I would not only have missed out on that had I not pushed the boundaries of oneness, I would have miss out on enjoying the music with my wife, and miss out on another way to show her that I love her.
bye for now
bradenwilliams
