The Curious Case of Samuel Rutherford Fitzhugh

Sam R. F. was a common, very lovable fellow. He had his issues, but tried to live responsibly and respectfully. Twenty one years after his birth his situation began to deteriorate. He had many friends but none helped him. Each friend had the common assumption that he was getting help with some or another of his friends or at least his family. 

The point in this case is the fact that very kind, and generally responsible adults will let things and people fall between the cracks. 

In my life I have noticed that it happens when there is something seemingly small, something that is not very visible or pressing (sometimes it is something that I am emotionally disinclined towards) that I ignore.

I would like to give a small example. I told Jo that I was going to make her a mixed tape of some of my favorites songs. I put it off so long that people don't even make mixed tapes any more, some people don't even know what they are. And with out a word of apology or anything, I hope that it becomes forgotten.  Why do I act this way, hoping that it is forgotten? It is because I am embarrassed that it has gone on so long. I am ashamed that I didn't keep my word. To make the tape now would bring to light my disrespect and irresponsibility. 

There is another thing that I would like to say about this. How can a community of self- declared lovers, carers, i. e. Christ followers let people be miss treated, ignored, over used, disrespected, and  forgotten? I think it is because each person deceives themselves into thinking that the other person will take care of it. I see needs but don't do anything because I assume that someone else will take care of it. All I need to do is engage in some communication, ask someone about it.  

Or if I am having trouble getting the mixed tape done, "Just call Jo and tell her. She wont mind," I tell myself. Other wise she might forget or might remember and rightly feel disrespected. 

It usually takes two seconds and a butt load of initiative.  Or don't make the promise in the first place, or don't claim to be a Lover.

Man, what is the deal? I need to start changing if I care anything about love. I am sorry I have disrespected, I am sorry I haven't loved, mostly out of laziness, fear, insecurity and the like.