Retro Issue 5, part 1

This was first released in April, 2005


So I’m trying to think of things to write about and well, not too much is coming except I was thinking about starting a gang. I can’t think of a name yet, maybe the Healthy’s or something. For the initiation we’d have to help the elderly cross the street or rescue a cat from a tree. Then, instead of a drive by shooting we’d do drive by complimenting. I think I read a Bernstein Bears book about, well, it might have been a different book, but it was about kids that went around and fixed stuff and cleaned without people knowing who did it. I remember it was a radio show. I don’t know what the gang sign would be. Instead of knives and guns, and chains, we’d carry t-shirt launchers and other things to distribute presents of the joyous kind.

Well it is officially summer as far as I am concerned, but I kind of miss winter. The frigid temperatures, the swirling winds, the deep snow, and I enjoy having purple hands. I always try to long for the opposite of what I have. That way I can complain more. Never mind, that is just crazy talk.
When I was little and I got mad at my brother, I would show my bottom teeth and say, “Meany, weenie big fat bikini.”