Listen

Oh, Frankie and I had quite the battle. I have been, as of late, getting off of my bottom to engage in some stick to teeth combat with a snake. My friends and supporters have informed me that the Frankster was not just any old slithery fellow. He was a real life aggressive Blue Razor. Please don’t mistake the similarity of his name with the very non deadly razor cell phone, or the potentially painful but not venomous razor foldable scooter. Frankers can pack a serious bite, and grow up to eight feet long. He has a very intimidating grey-ish blue color. He rattles his tail as a defense mechanism.

It was exciting. Frank found his way into the garage. I was using a long thin piece of wood to coax him from behind two stowed tables. I was jumping and yelling, “Oo!” He was slithering and hiding. He didn’t flee. I didn’t flee. I finally carried him with my death wand and placed him in the most humane way possible on the ground.

He tried to hide in the front of the car. His slender head poked through the holes in the bumper. I jumped in triumph with my muscles bulging.