longing

There is a thing that I have begun to tell myself, whenever I remember. When I am tempted to covet or long for something in a deep "If I only had this..." kind of a way, I think about what I already have. I say, "Is all that not enough, are you so selfish and greedy that you want those shoes or that guitar, or that look, too." I am not talking about desire in a casual way. I am talking about desire in a lustful way.

that is all

for now

I'm addicted?

I have started a special diet that includes the tire- screeching, whiplash-inducing halt of sugar consumption. This includes fruit, honey and the like.

It is interesting how sweet other foods seem to become when I am not eating sugar. For example carrots, onions, and almonds seem much sweeter now.

well I would have never imagined that I would crave sweet things so much. It is unbelievable. I have never tried to kick a habit, before. At least nothing that I can think of that make me have such strong cravings.

but I seem to have more energy.

Sincerely

braden

January

Hi

I have been very tired lately and I haven't written much.

I was at a birthday dinner last night. It was at a restaurant. We were all sitting at a long table when we heard the rhythmic clapping. Most everyone seated at our table started clapping too. The one with the birthday got excited. As the clapping approached it suddenly turned it was someone else's birthday too.

Then most of the wait-staff got in a line and did a really awkward line dance.

The end.

Walk with God

The other day I found myself thinking, “I bet I would be good at.... I wish I could do that.” Then I though, “Then I could deeply serve and honor God.”

I remember back to when I was a freshman in high school. I was in Tae Kwon Do, testing to for my black-belt. Before the test, our teachers told us, “Listen, the Grand Master has seen and can do much more amazing breaks (we would break boards and bricks) than you can do. So don’t try to show off and then fail the break. Do what you know you can do.”

I think that there is an interesting comparison between this and in what I stated first. In what I stated first, I was wanting to do great things. I was trying to justify myself.

The thing is God can do, has done, and has had people do much greater things than me. If he wanted great things, he could easily do it. Instead what he wants is obedience.

Man, when I say that it sounds like obedience must be following all the rules. What I’m thinking is, didn’t Jesus say that the the way to sum up all the rules is to love God and love people? How can I fall in love with God? Or how can a person fall in love with God if they don’t know who he is?

I just heard a sermon that said this a different way. Immanuel means God with us. What other God lives with people? As far as I know they are said to be up in the heavens, or in holy places. This sermon was saying that our culture makes action the most important. So in churches people put their value in doing programs. The thing that is the most important is living with God in present circumstances.

Insects

I had a desire to see the large historical changes in the earth such as the ice age and such. I realized that in one way I have. Compared to animals with short life spans, like bugs, I see great changes. I can imagine bugs that live less than a day saying things to each other, “scientists have rumors that there was a time when large balls of water twenty times the size of us fell and some people got caught in them and died.” And Zippy-The-Fly would say, “Dude, do you actually believe that? I suppose you also believe that the eternal frost is coming too?”

The first fly would say, “I saw one of the big balls of water once, they call it a raa-ine drup.”

“It’s a rain drop.”

“That’s what I said.”

“And you saw it when you were a larva. You can’t remember clearly what life was like then.”

“You’re just jealous that I know more about this world than you do.”

“Than you think you know.”

“Whatever.”

NoNe

Wow I has been a long time since I posted.

I have some Indian Clubs that my parents sent me. I say to myself, "I'm going clubbing tonight." They are used for exercise. Check out this old time writing I found on a Indian Club website. Sorry I don't remember which site it is from.

Indian clubs, along with other forms of rhythmic gymnastic exercises, were associated with “muscular Christianity,” a social gospel that affirmed the importance of physical fitness for mental and moral improvement. Proper physical exercise built bodily strength and, with it, character and righteousness—shaping young men for God’s work, and for the nation’s.2

Gymnastic exercises—ideally, ones that exercised all the muscles in a balanced fashion and combined all ranges of motion—were said to counteract the dangerous tendencies toward nervous exhaustion, moral dissipation, and spiritual decadence associated with modern life in the big cities. Moses Coit Tyler, who would become the first professor of history in the United States, explained (in the words of the fictional Judge Fairplay of Brawnville): “It is as truly a man’s moral duty to have a good digestion, and sweet breath, and strong arms, and stalwart legs, and an erect bearing, as it is to read his Bible, or say his prayers, or love his neighbor as himself.”3

In 1861, Amherst College was the first to introduce physical culture and gymnastics—including exercises with Indian clubs—as a required subject at the collegiate level.4 Physical exercise came to be regarded as a mark of manliness and a religious and patriotic duty. By 1901, 270 colleges offered physical education, 300 city school systems required physical exercises, 500 Young Men’s Christian Association (YMCA) gymnasiums had 80 000 members, and more than 100 gymnasiums were associated with athletic clubs, military bases, and other institutions.

Second Grade and Beyond

You know when I was in the second grade we had to write a report on parts of the human body. I picked the brain. I remember a distinct feeling about it like it fit me. It felt like I was meant to write about the brain. Anyway, I remember writing the phrase, “I could go on and on.” I also remember my teacher pointing this out to my parents and I remember hearing them laugh, saying something like, “Why don’t you go on and on?” to which I thought, I don’t want to it would take up to much time and space on the paper. I cared too much about saving paper. I didn’t think that it would help the environment to save paper. I just have a personality that tends to be concerned that things will run out so I save them. This attitude about paper made it so that I would cram my class notes on to one sheet. To me that was what was important. I would look at other people who took pages and pages of notes and think that might be easy to read, but I only used one page. To me taking notes wasn’t a step in the process of learning material meant to be read during studying. For me it was only a requirement imposed by the educator that had to be met. I rarely studied my notes. They were also a foul representation of what I considered to be the drudgery that was public school. So I didn’t like to even look at them.

Spring

A few days ago the weather was what I could consider, a pleasant. I got on my bike and started to ride. The cool humidity made the air tangible. The flowering trees offered delicious scents for me to sample. Peddling quickly, I rode without my hands. Gently, I stood up and carefully pinched the seat between my thighs. I stretched my arms out horizontally. I wondered what people would think if they saw this.

I was watching a young toddler. He is very tall for his age so I sometimes expect more dexterity from him than he is capable of. I picked a dandelion that had its seeds out, and blew them away. I picked one for him to try. He could blow but not with enough force. So he opened his mouth licked it then shoved it inside before I could do anything.

May

I am listening to a sermon by a pastor from at a church called the Village in the Dallas Texas area. I am literally listening right now. Okay, I turned it off to write better. He was saying that many people developed an understanding of Christianity that was based around the idea that if you act as a good Christian by wearing the right clothes, avoiding certain words and going to church then things would go good for you. Then, he explained that people with this notion would loose their job, get dumped, loose a loved one, or something and their idea was shattered. Then they would leave church, stop praying, and possibly begin hating God. The pastor then said how really our relationship with God is not a contract because we have nothing to offer God. Everything we have is his already. We can’t make him owe us a good life by our actions. Instead of contracts God gives us a covenant which is more of an interactive relationship.

I guess that another way to talk about this is that a covenant is, like friendship, a dynamic experience. It exists in times of variety such as pain, pleasure, distance, intimacy, and so on. A contract in comparison seems more fixed. It seems to be unconcerned with contextual changes.

Mmmm interesting...

To Be Sure

I was thinking about why so many societies have such a common aesthetic for dress and appearance. It seems that people would want to be accepted by the community, because in most times the individual needed the strength of the community for survival.

You know sometimes the title for these blogs mean something and other times they are just what came into my head.

It is the great equalizer. Do you ever sit down to start something, let say like a blog post, and here is comes the rumble? If you are anything like me you think, “Awe man, I just sat down. I don’t want to go sit down on that special chair. Can’t my body get in-tune with my mind.” But on the other end, I mean hand. On the other hand it is interesting to think that maybe the president of the united states is doing the same thing as me right now. Okay that is strange. Forget that part. It is interesting that no one is exempt, yet cultures like with everything else have different thoughts. I have heard that in Holland the toilets have a shelf that allows the user to “make sure everything is normal” before it gets washed away.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go.

My Name is Braden

My Name is Braden

Hi So, I was thinking about how it is interesting how people name the stars. They give them strange names. There are so many stars that have been named. It is kind of like adam naming animals.

My man hands are getting tired of typing. You know, some people who are older jump right in to the new technology that comes around and others don’t. I think it would be really something to live during the time, or in the cultures that didn’t have a swift progress of technology. It seems it unwittingly provides a potential wedge that could be placed, or viciously driven, between subsequent generations. I wonder what it would be like to hang out with the old people when what you were learning or had a grasp on, these old people had been doing for years. Of course, this would vary between individuals and cultures, but perhaps there would be a submissive respect from the younger to the older. Or might there be a haughty pride of youthful dexterity. I wa- wa- wa- wonder.

New Fresh Finally

I want to be excited about God and life-ishness. I say that “ishness” part because if I said "life" I feel like I would be making reference to like fifty things when what I mean is maybe only one or two things. These being something like the parts of existence that perpetuate good, beauty, health, positive living. Okay that was four things. I want to be excited because I know so strongly and truly that the Creator that Abraham believed in is so much greater than what I know, the rules I hold to. Culturally people are afraid of many things but few as great as death. And religious figures and gods of sorts promise many things but none that I know of promise freedom from this fear, not only freedom from the fear but from the thing itself. I want to be excited to the remarkable, daring level that things such as suffering and pain do not rend it asunder, to put it poetically.

So I have been watching a show called The Woodwright’s Shop. I like it. A man by the interesting name of Roy Underhill is the main person behind it. He has a great number of uncommon hand tools. He also has many unheard of devices that have been beautifully invented to aid in very specific wood working tasks. One such tool is meant to cut square or any other shaped holes in wood. I think that many of these items were created in the early days of manufacturing and rejected for something that did the work faster. I like these old remnants. I think that they are beautiful. Sometimes it seems that cultures reject beautiful things for cheap, convenient, quick, disposable things. That is not an anti-technology statement it is a pro-beauty in the everyday statement.

Well I sincerely appreciate anyone who is reading this. I means that after so many silent days you still checked back here to see if there was anything new. Thank you. I overwhelmingly appreciate one such reader, my wife. Thank You.

Loving with Your Pocketbook

I came here all ready to talk about the problems of loving through buying people things. As I have begun to think about it more I realize I must understand that the problems that I was about to lay out are from buying in excess rather than balance.
The specific case that started my musing is people who seem to only be able to show love by buying things. In this case, so many things are purchased that it is not longer enjoyable. What often comes with the excess of items, is a pressure to keep the items out of fear of offending the one who gave it. (As I side, I think that one of the ways that I would most want someone to show love for me is to seek the kingdom of heaven.)
What made me reassess my negative feelings was the thought that maybe people in general should show love to neighbors and strangers more through buying things.

Loving with Your Pocketbook

I came here all ready to talk about the problems of loving through buying people things. As I have begun to think about it more I realize I must understand that the problems that I was about to lay out are from buying in excess rather than balance.
The specific case that started my musing is people who seem to only be able to show love by buying things. In this case, so many things are purchased that it is not longer enjoyable. What often comes with the excess of items, is a pressure to keep the items out of fear of offending the one who gave it. (As I side, I think that one of the ways that I would most want someone to show love for me is to seek the kingdom of heaven.)
What made me reassess my negative feelings was the thought that maybe people in general should show love to neighbors and strangers more through buying things.

I had a thought

I had a thought while I was reading Psalm 121. It says "the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night." I was wondering why some one would be afraid of the sun or moon harming them. I can see that the sun may give you skin cancer but what could the moon do? I don't know why this Psalm says this.

I was thinking, however, that perhaps people were afraid of sun or moon gods that their neighbors believed in. Well, it gave me the idea that I should not be afraid of other people's gods. The things that people devote themselves to, "gods", that often I am afraid of are success, prestige or being someone, the ability to have physical needs met. I know that people in the culture around me "worship these gods". I get afraid that I need to submit to these things as they do to have a "good life".

I wonder if this is not almost an exact correlation to the ancient nation of Israel. Israel was surrounded by people who worshiped other gods. If I am correct, these gods were meant to ensure life-things: being successful, health, the meeting of physical needs. I can imagine that it would be easy to feel pressure to also worship these gods. No wonder God was like, worship only me. Maybe it wasn't just a jealousy thing but maybe God was trying to save Israel from extra work and stress of worship all of the gods, because He was all they needed. Not to mention that the other gods could not do anything.

Dude, I need, really need to stop being afraid of the false gods of the people around me. I need to stop feeling pressure to devote myself to anything other than God.

Authority

I heard an argument in high school. It said that however many billions of people believe that buddha is god. How can multiple billions of people be wrong? I think that the point where this argument has traction is the idea that we all feel, see, and sense relatively the same things, how is it that we don’t all agree? I can seem to make sense that the majority must be right.

The problem with this argument is that it assumes that the only way that people come to believe something is by experience and reason. The truth is that people come to believe in things like buddha by authority also. In many cases large amounts of people believe in something almost entirely on authority and only a little bit on experience and reason. Some may have an experience and then have a set of beliefs that are based on the authority of the one experience, i. e. an epiphany.

A good example of how much people act based on authority is tradition. The trends of history have very strong holds on peoples beliefs and actions. Billions of people could be believing based on part tradition, part experience, and part peer influence.

Appeal of the Unknown

I do know that often the unknown is scary for people. But I was thinking about how the unknown is sometimes used to make something seem amazing. I first thought about this when I was reading the Chronicles of Narnia. C. S. Lewis is very talented at making things seem amazing. He describes the inside of the earth and tells of living jewels. He doesn’t describe in great detail all about the living jewels. He creates the idea of it. If I try to tell someone else about it I can’t make it sound as cool. I think this is because what is cool is unknown. This is why the Narnia movies weren’t that cool. Take Aslan for example, C. S. Lewis can say something like, “Aslan was as big as small elephant, and his mane was like gold with light flowing from it.” But when a person tries to pin down the unknown of what that looks like it will always diminish.

Another example is an anime called Rurouni Kenshin. The main character is a swordsmen. The story doesn’t introduce him as an amazing character. He is a humble wanderer. But everyone knows that he is a legendary fighter that no one can beat. The story doesn’t give much information about his past except in glimpses. The unknown aspect makes it so enticing. I find that my imagination spins a much more exciting tale than the story portrays.

The First

I was reading about the book of Genesis. The part that I was reading talked about how Cain murdered and then was afraid of being murdered. He acted wrongly toward one but wanted protection against being treated as he had treated another.

So he was fearing something that he started. I was trying to think of something that I had started that I was then afraid of. I imagined being a kid and doing something out of impulse and then being afraid because I didn’t know what I was doing. Once a kid was yelling in my ear. I wanted him to stop and I was angry that he did that. I punched him in the stomach. I just meant to do it lightly, as a warning. But he started crying. It made me scared. We were in fifth grade. Sometime in high school the kid brought it up. I totally didn’t know that I would start something so big. I wonder if Cain had a notion of what was going to happen.

Also think about how he was the first murderer. If no one had been killed or died yet, I don’t think that I would know what it was. He knew that dying existed but did he know what it would look like and how much violence it would require? Did he say to himself I am going to kill him? If not, it shows how much tangible evil can come from some seemingly small evil impulses.

Remembrance

I went back to my roots just now, that is I looked at old blog posts. I found that I have diverted from my original pattern of writing. I used to write them more as, my title indicates, a news letter. I also wrote in a more train of thought, sarcastic way. You know I used to have a teacher that said the word pattern like, patter-en. It was a little interesting. Also she used to say calvary instead of cavalry.

So anyway, let me give some news of what has gone on in my life. I had a hang nail last week. JK, although I really said TTYL to one of my roommates when he was leaving and it was like I was asserting myself as competent in this age of cellular telephone devices. I was saying to him, since he is quite a few years my junior, “Yo D-diddy dawg, I’m not too old yet. I am teeming, (Oh, teeming sounds too intelligent,) Uh, I am full of cool. I can reduce words to their first letters. I can keep up with the pace of technology. I am a man. I have an arm that can reach out in love for the latest Apple product. I have legs that can be shorn with the latest trend that is fed to me by people that care almost nothing about me except that they want my money.”

Yes, I can say all of that in only four letters. Although not really because what I wrote kind of makes me sound like I think that all kids care about is the latest trends and whatnot.

So I wrote the title of this post as remembrance. I was thinking back on the childhood that I participated in and I remember an oak alter in my parents church that said, “Do this in remembrance of me” on it. I wonder how much they paid for that thing. They sure are getting use out of it. I am sure it is still in the same place now.

Well, I’ve got to go. Change your clothes, but don’t change your attitude, (unless you have a bad one).

Love

Mr. Sir Braden Joshua MacIntosh Lorenzo Caravaggio Williams Junior, the Battosai (just K I have never used a sword)

Sabbath Revisited (Time)

Sabbath Revisited (Time)

Waltke quotes Heschel, who says, “But time is the heart of existence.” And later “It is a triumph frequently achieved by sacrificing and essential ingredient of existence, namely, time.”

Is time the heart of existence? I have often seen myself as fighting against time or waiting for time to do it’s thing (pass by). When thinking of time, I have a difficulty understanding it. What is it? It’s measurable. Is it a substance? I can’t conceive of a world without time. Perhaps that is what is meant by time is the heart of existence.

I have personally thought of time as being the change of physical things or as Heschel puts it, space. Without consistent change, such as day/ night, rivers, waves, would people have developed a time sense. If I think of a spot in outer space where no matter exists, I guess that there is still time there because of the changes in energy passing through that space. It seems that time is bound to the existence of space. So I, being a form in space, have time bound to me as much as I am bound to time. So it does seem that time is an essential ingredient to existence. Yet I, or other space that excludes me, am an essential ingredient of time.

So what did you think of my immature musings on time? Am I crazy, boring, or a genius who just doesn’t know it? Do I need better organization skills, or better grammar? Is this not your topic of choice? What would be?

Write me a comment. Thanks for reading.