Tue 9:58 AM

I enjoy the band Beirut. Stacy and I watched a movie last night. It was called the Terminal. It had tom hanks as a eastern european guy. "Victor" was stuck in the JFK terminal because his home country was at war and his visa was no longer valid. The events were totally implausible, Victor became fluent in english at light speed, the accents were dodgy, but it was pretty good. Victor was interested in a shameful lady who had consorts in the various cities that she traveled to as a flight attendant. Victor and this lady never did anything shameful nor did they get together, much to our delight. The movie must have been made a little while ago because everyone had pagers. 

Anyway, I am trying to learn to live the best I can instead of just scraping by or doing just what is needed. It sure is interesting.

In our garage there is this old heater that runs on kerosene. It looks kind of like a jet engine. It is very loud. 

It seems to me that very few people have regard for their hearing. A lot of people wear sunglasses when things are too bright. But I notice only a few who cover their ears at loud noises. I've worked in factories where the volume is very loud, there are free ear plugs and I am the only one I see wearing them. I think that it is because sunglasses are cool and ear plugs aren't. Some one needs to come out with a hot and hip line of ear plugs, rhinestone covered, flame covered, fake gold, skulls. The earplug could be attached to a little hand and this little hand would stick out of your ear. 

no one cares about cool when everyone's poor.

bye 

braden   

art thoughts with uncle bray bray

When a person manipulates the physical configuration of an object it has a quality different from a machine configured object. On the surface it seems that the machine makes things perfect and identical, while a person makes things irregular. Although this seems to be commonly accurate, a person can often mimic mechanical regularity with convincing precision. The difference that I am alluding to is discovered by first looking at a similarity between the person and the machine. 

The idea that a machine makes everything perfect and identical isn’t true. I have witnessed in the factories that I’ve worked that a machine makes many “mistakes”.  A piece of plastic will come out of a machine looking like it mutated. Also, a machine that is meant to put a lid on a container will mangle it instead. With the machine there is an anomaly. (It is almost comical to see this great Goliath of manufacturing that has been hailed as the product modern genius. It is comical to see these machines with almost life like movement clumsily destroy the product, like a dumb brute.)

Similarly when a person is working very hard to achieve the set goal it seems to happen that on the occasion the created breaks away as an anomaly. The outcome, seemingly for no reason, breaks from the norm. The difference between the machine and person is that it seems the machine makes things the same most of the time with the occasional very drastic change, but a person tends to make gradual changes regularly with the rare, slightly drastic change. 

This variety is rare. Like other rare things it can be considered with contempt and marked for eradication, or it can be regarded as a delight and valued like a jewel. As an artist it is fascinating to see one’s work in this light. For example, as a person regularly works and strives for a goal, at one time or another they seem extremely close. This time is when the anomaly makes something like a jewel. This is the difference with the machine.  It never makes an anomaly that functions better than the intended product. But the intelligence of the artist can produce something better. This is when it seems that everything just falls into place, what one might call the masterpiece.

autumn rhythm No. 26

Well I would like to tell two stories of how I have been pursuing a more unified relationship with my wife. 

My wife loves basketball. I don’t hate basketball, but did hate watching it. I am terrible at playing it, is the main thing. My wife loves playing and watching it. So I sat down before we were married and tried to watch a game. It was painful, very painful. But I just sat and watched. When a negative comment rose up in my head about basketball, I shut it off (the comment, not the basketball). I kept watching for about an half an hour. One day while checking email, I looked up the Detroit Pistons (my wife’s favorite team). Later I sat down to another game, all along promoting good thoughts in my head and discouraging bad ones. I can honestly say that I enjoy watching basketball now.  Although we don’t watch that much because we only get one tv channel. 

The other story has to do with a band that my wife likes but I totally didn’t enjoy listening to. Much like basketball, it was a bit painful. I knew it was something she enjoyed. This is a fairly miraculous story because music for me is much more emotional and hits my core. I wasn’t too excited to try to learn to like this band. I started with putting the music on my music player. Later when I was going to listen to some music I would make myself listen to this band for at least a song or two, all the while ignoring negative thoughts, and try to just listen. The first couple times it was hard. As I listened it got easier because I became familiar with some of the songs. It wasn’t until just today that I listened and the most interesting thing happened. I enjoyed the music, but more than that I really liked it. It was unlike any experience I have had, not more intense but different. I have never enjoyed music like I did that time. I would not only have missed out on that had I not pushed the boundaries of oneness, I would have miss out on enjoying the music with my wife, and miss out on another way to show her that I love her. 

bye for now 

bradenwilliams

IT'S STORY TIME!!!!

yay I love story time. 

Okay, so I was in the town of Florence, Italy for an art class. A night club was showing our work so we all attended. The options for the night were talking to drunk people, buying 10$ drinks, and eating the free and very salty pasta. At the food tables I found nice candles, cheap paper table cloths covered in spilt pasta, and large empty bowls. I looked to see the crowd part and a waiter with a fresh bowl. Before the waiter sat the bowl down people were taking spoonful after spoonful of the stuff. Oh, it was gone. I did have one friend who was abstaining from the juice, as I say, and we wanted some bites. I had a plan, I was going to get us some pasta. The waiter came, I pounced. Elbows like swords, butt like two shields, Afro like a vertigo inducing cloud, I slid in behind the waiter. To my delicious surprise, I was close enough to the action. Suddenly a commotion, people gasped and yelled, someone pulled one of the tables away from the rest, and people gawked at the table cloth ablaze. 

            

And me? Ruthless. "This is my chance" I thought. 

That is the end of the story really. I just shared the loot, the booty, the catch

and went home, as is my custom.

love 

shua moshe ck ck wingy tora "braden"

A little more

so I was able to solidify a little more of what I learned that day when the woman spoke to me. I said that I think that Jesus might have been peaceful when he was being accused. (please reference the post a couple down) 

What I realized is that when a time of worry, anxiety or other comes I look at the four elements of my situation. One is the subject, ie Jesus, one is the object, ie the accusers, another is the context ie the situation, another is God. 

I was painting. 

I felt discouragement 

I wasn't having fun 

I was considering that maybe I should stop landscape painting

The truths were

Subject: I have done painting a lot, should one painting upset me? I am secure; my peace, joy or happiness, self-worth or value does not at all depend on this painting. 

Object: This was one, small painting, not a big deadline or something.

Context: I have had many times that I really enjoyed my landscape painting, I can't expect to have fun with every painting, all of the time. If I think, I can remember other times that I struggled in the middle of a painting and really loved the end. "Braden, compare this to working at the factory and then see if you are still complaining"

God: God directed me to art school, provided for me when I was there, even used the occasion to bring Stacy and me together, I am not doing art and painting for no reason. God gave me these talents and when I do me best to honor him with them, ( I think) that he will honor that.

that's what I do

thank for reading 

try this out sometime

Sincerely 

B. Joshua M. Williams

Most of the time

I was thinking, I thought that I loved making music. This is true when I play with people and it is about people interacting through music. Other times it feels merely like people playing at the same time. In these times the emphasis is so much on the sound and one’s skills. I play this latter sort of band now.

It seems that sometimes people start something, let’s say in a church a choir is started, because there are many who want to sing. At a later time there is not the same interest and it is a burden to fill the choir. Instead of changing, people hold onto it and compare the present to an older time when the choir fit the context. It is difficult to change I guess. It seems to me that people tend to hand on to things when it may be  better to change it. 

Hi I’m a person. 

A serious post

HI

well
I love God so much.

I was walking and praying that God would open my life, that he would free me, that a gloomy cloud I had been living in would be dissipated.

Do you want to know what I am learning? Well I going to say.

I was working at a factory and a lady make a comment like, "You don't think do you."

I don't take this well. It rolls in my mind and brings fear, worry, self doubt, flailing self justification, and the like.

As I attempted to tell myself truths, I was able to see more truths.

Which are: Mean people have to live with themselves, that stinks.

Mean people attract mean people, and that stinks for them, their getting what they dish out.

I don't need to be personally offended, I am smart and have a good education, "I do think"

I don't need to justify the meanness with a defence, I need to sit in the truth.

I don't need to be personally offended I am associated with an outstanding name.

yo dude

then the curtain rolled to reveal this idea

I think that I need the most truthful perspective of every situation or "stich"

What is my true context? Who am I in this sitch?

okay

well this is what i was wondering, i think that when Jesus was silent like a lamb before slaughter it was because he knew his sitch. when people were falsely accusing, hitting, and spitting, he didn't need to cry out in defense. he knew: who his accusers were, they were just acting according to plan, they were living with the punishment that is the fact that they were crucifying the Christ, they were only humans, he was God, he knew he was going to become saviour through this, he knew he was going to receive the highest glory. God is the judge. well,

i bet that he was full of peace when they were accusing him that is why he didn't need to speak.

just a thought

well to me it is more because

i can learn peace through this

and have been having much more lately

I am going to post a picture just for fun

thanks for
the comments all you comment making commentators
oh and a quick shout out for
Josh and Leslie
dude(s) you rock!

from me

A poem of Braden 8/23/08 5am-ish

O Lord have mercy on me
Please fill my life with
Joy and gladness
God you are so wonderful
I think about you and
Am thankful.

My Father in Heaven, this
Morning sleep is so far
From my eyes and
Rest so far from my bones

My flesh tells me, “Worry
About today, your body
Will hurt and pain will
Be your companion.”
But I trust in you
For from you come
Every good and
Perfect gift!

In you I trust
Your existence is my hope
Your character as revealed
In scripture is my
Comfort.

I am thankful o Lord
For the joy of knowing
It- of knowing you that is.
Lord my excitement
Grows at the thought
Of you in eternity

My Lord you, your unfailing
Love, Is so desirable in
The quiet of this
Morning, in amongst
The cricket legs rubbing

I see your beauty is
in creation in part
unlike people creators
who’s work may be
beautiful while their
life is ugly

You God are hinted of
In the unending intensity of
Creation.

God I love you thank you
For letting me kind of
Meet with you, you
Are awesome

I love you!

hi

Hi
This is a letter to myself.
Dear Braden-boo
Remember that you are bankrupt. What I mean by that is that all that you have comes from God. So don’t get all weird like you don’t want to fully submit in your heart, to God, thinking that you are going to loose what you have. Look God alone gives contentment, happiness, peace and joy. So if you don’t submit who knows what kind of perversion of God’s gift you’ll create by clinging to what was good, but was good only for a time. Let go, have some faith, go where He takes you, to that amazing place, chill relax, chillax. Free your mind and the rest will follow, be color blind don’t be so shallow, oh wait that’s en vogue.
Bye b

Some thoughts

Hi,
I am writting today. I have been drawing these cartoons, some I have posted. I have been wondering how a person can live counter cultural with consistancy.
Well, two days ago I, with my wife and some close friends, went to some sand dunes on lake Michigan. The trail we walked brought us into an environment of steep sand and unusual plants. It lead us to the coast where the water was cold and blue. The steep dunes plunged into the water and at one point in history land fell into the lake. Wow.
Well, I enjoyed this experience. It captured the senses. It alienated the normal that is usually concrete, asphalt, and tar. I am very thankful for this.
this is all I am writing now
thank you
braden j m l c w

retro issue 6 part two

What if there was a Mcdonalds on the moon, would you go to it? I would. So I'm hanging out in Millennium Park. The sky is hazy, cars are zooming on Michigan Ave. I'm wearing blue, white and grey. The gentleman sitting next to me is reading a newspaper and wearing a baseball cap. There are a lot of mothers with their children and cameras. That is what it looks like at least. I did not ask them. A slight breeze rustles the flag that has four stars in between two horizontal blue stripes on a white ground. A security guard drives a Segway Human Transporter, gliding as if a ghost wearing a yellow vest. Here comes a large group, maybe a field trip, of children. A girl just said to a boy, "... it's not coffee, it's capuccino!" The wind is chilly now. I should have brought a shirt, but yesterday was hot.
I love you
bye
bradenjmwilliams

i hope that you aren't getting tired of retro issues

Williams roller retro issue #6 origional issue date 4/20/05

I love you, friends and miss you
My friend made me a card with an airplane on it. I like it. I'm so amazed at the city, (I'm in Chicago) people everywhere, all with little acknowledgement of each other's existance. But then I was at a skate park and when someone did a cool move the people, as if part of a community, celebrated this achievement. The buildings shoot right up out of the ground. A ten story building is not very large compared to a couple hundred story building. Obviously I come from a small town. At my brother's college they have foaming soap that smells really nice and since it foams you don't have to work up a lather. Well, in all honesty, I feel like a freshman again. I'm meeting hordes of people and I can't, for the life of me, remember their names. It is really humid here. The are is so thick, that I would get tired from walking around except that since the air is so thick there is actually something to breath. I saw an exhibit of real human bodies that have been preserved with the use of space-aged polymers. You know when They, and by They I mean anti-drug people, try to discourage smoking by comparing two pictures of lungs. When you see the black lung in person, it is a lot more effective. And I had always thought that the inside of a heart was smooth but it is not. It is kind of stringy. Can you imagine if our skin was clear like the skin of some creatures? And what if we could see each other's insides? Would that make people more conscientious in regards to the fragility of life? I imagine that we would just be used to seeing guts and there would be no difference in our behavior. Maybe change really comes from the "heart" not the circomstances. What if when people talked, physical objects came out of our mouths and were absorbed into the recipient? And negatively intended words were hard and sharp and actually cut people. Then would we be more careful about what we said? And what if every thought came into existance, only in a different dimension? What would that be like?

Wow

So Hi,
yeah i was watching this show and the person on it, it was a non- scripted show, ate something tasty. this fella held up three fingers on both sides of his mouth making a wow sign. one hand was a W the mouth was the O and the other hand was the other W. i was shocked really.
well my wife has a blog it is great you should check it out. stacymw.blogspot.com
well her first post is called the alpha post and i like that.

well i thought that i would have tons more to say but i don't

thanks
yours truly
b. j. macintosh williams

Retro Issue 5, part 2

There is an event that happens in the lives of millions upon millions of people a day. This event, although small, can at times, prove to be utterly annoying or even embarrassing. In the past, I have lived with a near a constant awareness of the possible existence of this happening. Hey Seth, I think I’ll finally go into print making. I’d be really good and fast. File, Print, Enter, Done, Yes. The Event: One fateful chilly morning the sun was creeping behind the only cloud in the sky, clearly foreshadowing what was to come. I had just successfully ascended the stairs at the west side of Kelly (a building). Slightly winded, I sorted through the various tasks ahead of me. Suddenly a bird crowed, squirrels ran, a leaf overturned and what caught my eye was a wave, accompanied by a smiling sincere face. My eyes brightened and my brain questioned. The line of sigh was directed past me. After pinpointing the true, intended recipient of this gesture, I jerked my hand down and pretended. Pretended. I was on a beach somewhere. No clouds, no crows, no squirrels. The only waves I know about are the wet kind. Ah….


Hey so, I want to encourage people to seek and search: talk and think about worldviews and perspectives. My friend was telling me about people who help out orphaned children in other countries. At the time I was drinking Italian coffee out of a blue and yellow cup. I had paper out sitting next to my water bottle. My friend had a number of computer print-outs that told about the people. It was exciting to hear about it and my Italian coffee became tertiary to the zoomed-out view. It’d be nice to balance the view: rejoicing of the small, while being mindful of the non-small. I’m not sure exactly how it looks yet.

Retro Issue 5, part 1

This was first released in April, 2005


So I’m trying to think of things to write about and well, not too much is coming except I was thinking about starting a gang. I can’t think of a name yet, maybe the Healthy’s or something. For the initiation we’d have to help the elderly cross the street or rescue a cat from a tree. Then, instead of a drive by shooting we’d do drive by complimenting. I think I read a Bernstein Bears book about, well, it might have been a different book, but it was about kids that went around and fixed stuff and cleaned without people knowing who did it. I remember it was a radio show. I don’t know what the gang sign would be. Instead of knives and guns, and chains, we’d carry t-shirt launchers and other things to distribute presents of the joyous kind.

Well it is officially summer as far as I am concerned, but I kind of miss winter. The frigid temperatures, the swirling winds, the deep snow, and I enjoy having purple hands. I always try to long for the opposite of what I have. That way I can complain more. Never mind, that is just crazy talk.
When I was little and I got mad at my brother, I would show my bottom teeth and say, “Meany, weenie big fat bikini.”

comics

cartoon

funnies

Comics

Comics

So I hope that you like these comics because I have a few more

thanks

Big B

Comics again

Retro Issue 3 the long issue part three
For most of my life I would look at stereotypical ideals and try to emulate them, always coupled by falling short of the ideal. For example I would see some amazing athlete on television or some heroic character from a movie, and desire whatever I thought that the ideal implied, such as popularity, happiness, or health. When I realized that chasing the ideal didn’t and couldn’t give me what I desired, I discovered that the cool people are just being themselves, thus creating their own ideal. So I say to myself and to anyone who cares, get up, get out and drink Coke, ‘cause all the cool people drink Coke. Sometimes I just get flabbergasted at the existence of technology. Like those soap dispensers in the bathrooms, it’s just like milking a cow except with soap. And those crazy boxes with the cords and the colors and the buttons, man computers. I pretty much have no clue how a copy machine works, I was told once but I forgot. “I love technology.”
Sincerely, Braden Joshua MacIntosh Lorenzo Caravaggio Williams

Retro Issue 3 the long issue part two
You know how people always go around with headphones on? I’m always so curious to know what people are listening to. Often the people I’m speaking of are young, but what really piques my curiosity is when old people have headphones. Are they listening to music from our time, their time, classical or jazz? They could be listening to a book. You might be saying, “Braden you are such an idiot. Why does it matter?” Because it is sharing life, it is real, it is honest, it’s life. I’m starting to sell add space in the Williams Roller. It will cost two dollars per square inch, up to four square inches. Psyche. Do you remember Hungry Hippos? I love that game. You know what drives me crazy? I’ll go to say hi to someone and then all of the sudden I get nervous so I don’t say anything. It drives me crazy. Then I’ll be talking to someone and then get distracted or just plain forget what I’m saying. Gosh, crazy drives me crazy. I might as well be a regular old stick in the mud. But I used to be worse. I’m doing better. And I’m thankful. I’m no scientist but I’d bet that the dirtiest part of a computer is the keyboard or the mouse, probably the keyboard. Wash your hands.

cartoon break

hi I am taking a small break from prose to post some of my comics
i hope that they are enjoyable
love bradenjoshuamacintoshwilliams

I hope someone is reading these.

Retro issue 3 the long issue part one
Dear friends, You know how you have that weird thing that bugs you. A lot of people don’t like it whe someone scratches a chalkboard. That doesn’t bother me really, but when I have a used wrapper or paper I hate to crumple it. I always fold it neatly and flatten it out. Have you guys been to the Op Shop? It stands for opportunity shop. But it might as well stand for the op-solutely amazing shop. I think that it is located on tenth street (in Gunnison, Colorado.) I have, over the years, been exceedingly surprised a how many people aren’t in the know about the Op Shop. It might be that the other thrift store in Gunnison has a monopoly on the thrift store scene. It could be that the Op Shop is only open on Thursdays at 1-5. Don’t be fooled, though, the Op Shop is not a completely hidden treasure. On any given Thursday at approximately 12:45 you are likely to find a line, often stretching partially around the building! I have had the Op-portunity to partake in many joyous purchases there, at prices that will make you wet your pants. But it is alright because their pants cost only a dollar. I was thinking that there are some great talents that often go unnoticed. Some people are really good at cleaning up after themselves. Some have a skill for pushing the chair in after they stand up. I’m good at tying my shoes. They practically never come undone and I don’t double knot. Don’t be jealous I’ll share the wealth, if you ask.


this is part one look for part two!
love b

no title today

You know, I like black walnuts.
They grow here. I had my first encounter with them last fall. I cracked hundreds. I learned that their green flesh will stain skin brown for about two weeks. I made indelible black walnut ink.
I love that every part of the nut is useful. The flesh makes ink, the nut is "delish", and the shell is used for charcoal filters and I read that it is so hard that it is used in oil drilling as an abrasive.
Can I tell something else? Squirrels can chew through the shell. wow

I refrigerated some nuts to simulate a dormancy period. In the spring I planted them.
Two months later one sprouted. It was so beautiful to me. I sat and looked at it. I praised God for it, for the leaves, stem, form... I like that this little thing is the same as those looming giants. It may outlive me, and provide food for so many. What a joy.

Another nut just sprouted.

New Day

Hi,
I am sorry that I haven't posted in a while. I was in Colorado with my wife and doing other things.
I have thought that when people say, "I was too busy to do such and such", maybe a more accurate way to say that would be, "I didn't prioritize such and such high enough this week."
I seems to me that people do what they want to do and what they prioritize first. Well any way...

I heard on the radio about a normal guy that had an idea for an invention. He looked at some physics books to see if it would work but got distracted by something else.
You see this fella claims that Einstein got it wrong. Well he talked to these physicists who said, "you are getting it wrong". So this guy was totally convinced that he was right no matter what the experts said. This fella would just say, "Physics should be simple, easy to understand."
I thought that this was interesting.
well anyway thanks for reading
love b joshua m williams

retro news letter issue 3

Hi friends
These are origional Williams Rollers from the year 2001.
I hope you enjoy them.


Once upon a time I was walking with my friend and acting like a Doomer-Gloomer. Of all the many wonderful things that I’ve been given that I could have been rejoicing about, I was letting one little thing bring me down. Just then (and by “just then” I mean with in 10 or 15 minutes) my clever and thoughtful friend said most eloquently, “Life is a lot easier if you hold your head up and smile at people.” And how did I respond to this delectable conversation- prompting statement? How did I respond? Yep, with some dweebish comment about how, “really it is easier to walk with your head down but it’s probably better to look up.” Whoosh, that’s a missed hit. But, hey I’m getting better and better and I’m thankful. So next time I’m being a Negative- Nelly help a fellow out will you? A well- guided projectile often works nicely. Can you believe the weather? I was at Wal-Mart, it’s kind of my second home, (not really) and I found an odd connection between Wal-Mart and the weather lately. It’s a bit far-fetched and dorky. The weather lately is comparable to the ideal consumer. The consumer says, “I want the blue one, no the red one, no I want both.” And the weather says, “I want summer, no winter, no both.” Never mind. When I was a kid I saw this cartoon. It was Duck Tales. I can’t remember what the rich uncle’s name was. There was this one episode where he had a room half full of gold coins with a diving board above it. Was his name Scrooge McDuck? Anyway he jumped off of the diving board and landed in the coins and swam around. There is no way that you could really do that. It would be cool if you could though. I once thought that cell phones were the plaque of society but now I think that it is the digital camera. This is why I think so: My brother recently had a baby boy. Don’t get me wrong, I think the little guy is great, with his tiny hands and feet, his little grin and so on and so forth. But my brother sent my parents a CD of pictures, taken digitally, of my nephew. THERE WERE FOUR HUNDRED AND EIGHT PICTURES. While flipping through them I slowly went from excitement, to happiness, to tiredness, to boredom, to sadness, to fear, to nausea. There were so many pictures. Wow… four hundred and eight. I’ll probably do the same if I ever have a kid. Do you remember when people used to say “not” after everything, like, “You’re cool, not”? Well thanks again. I hope you do well. Please strive to do great. In the words of Levar Burton, “I’ll see you next time.”
love braden williams

short one

So I was reading my friend Leslie's blog, (it is a very good one) and she made this comment that I think is quite extraordinary. She said:

"I also think that if trees could talk... and you had a conversation with them and said something like, 'I don't think I believe in God' that the tree you were conversing with would laugh at you."

What a cool thought, thanks Leslie.
bye for now
love braden joshua macIntosh williams

cookies?

Well I just tried to log into this page and I got this weird message that said my browser's cookie is misfunctioning or something like that. It gave me a re-routing thing to click on but psh, I didn't have a clue. I don't know much about cookies but I thought that they were bad, like a virus. Apparently they must have a good function too if I was having problems because one was misfunctioning.
Well anyway, I am auditing a class with my wife and it is amazing.
My friend was telling me that I don't speak much about my marriage to him. I was thinking about it and I don't talk much about being married, I think because, it is something very much beyond my ability to conceptualize. It is amazing, new and personal, in a way that I haven't learned how to communicate. It is so much different than any cultural notion of marriage (so much better, most of the time my response to the cultural representations of marriage is one of nausea and discouragement), so I can't use already developed language about it. It is something enormous, dynamic, and rich in ways that I am not sure how to make tangible, perhaps because I rarely see it around me. It makes me understand more of why God uses it as a metaphor of our relationship with him, why he calls us the bride of Christ.


Love
braden

ideas about honor

Honor
Is honor something that one can poses, or is it a pattern of living? I think when one says to have honor it is this person making honorable choices, it could be that person having honorable desire. We find that one can honor one’s parents by taking care of them. We see where the Pharisees were not honoring their parents in Mark 7: 10-13.
One can honor God with one’s talents by being good stewards of them.
I think that often honor has been displayed as not giving in or backing down on what is believed. I think that standing for beliefs at all is an example of honor but this is an example of exceptional honor. The movie the Last Samurai is based on this sort of notion of honor. The characters will die for honor, and even kill themselves as a way to die honorably. I think that this is a miss understanding of what honor is, but a right understanding of how to hold on to honor.
It seems to me that honoring is paired with concern or a desire of righteousness, or love. Perhaps action is a fulfillment of one’s concern. Perhaps action helps create concern.
I think that an important way to keep one’s self sensitive to what is honorable is to think about what one does before one does it, to judge what is best. Many people do things because they always have, or because everyone else does or because that is what their parents/family did, or even because it is what they think they are supposed to do. In all of these times what is done is not necessarily what is best.
Here is a verse to think about.
Proverbs 15:33 the fear of the Lord is the instruction of wisdom, And before honor is humility.
This is interesting because I have been thinking of honor as more of a worldview. (I will consider people and actions with a “what is best” lens and act accordingly to my best judgment.) This proverbs passage relates it to humility, which seems to me to be more of a state of being. (I will live in humility, I will have my existence be in keeping with whom I am, e.g. human, servant, beloved etc) In any case honor seems to be a very dynamic thing.

My marriage is great

My marriage is great. I haven’t been married a year. We were poor-ish like many people are. We would check movies out from the library and they would skip on our dvd player. We used our gift card to buy a cheap lacrosse set which we played with for hours. We made up games and hoped we were getting good exercise.
One movie we watched was about a man who loved grizzlies. Was his name Timothy Treadwell? I collected black walnuts to make ink, not knowing how potent they were until my hands were a nice warm brown for two weeks. I was trying to jump over geese while Stacy took pictures when I got the idea to jump over a bush.
Well this is a good story so let me take a step back for a moment. First I was doing three sixty jumps while Stacy took pictures. I jumped off of a little step, over gaps, that kind of thing. I took a few pictures of Stacy doing the same thing. That is when we saw the geese and some how it came to us for me to try a three sixty over a goose. I ran and ran. Geese were squawking, and Stacy was shooting. It didn’t happen. Then I saw a little ledge that I wanted to jump up on to. I did that for a while and it was fun well there was this one ledge that was behind a bush, I tried the jump and fell into the bush.
“Are you alright?” Stacy asked. “Nope,” as I started running for our apartment. Stacy sure was freaked. I knew that soon the blood would be flowing and I didn’t want the little soccer kids and their moms who were near by to see it.
I stopped and together we went home, washed up and decided that I need stitches. At the emergency care, we watched my muscle slide next to my bone while the doc had me move my foot. “I’m worried that you might have hit a tendon,” he said. “I am going to send you to the ER to see the orthopedic surgeon.”
It was 10 pm when we got to the ER, 11 pm when we got to our curtained room. The P. A. saw us at 12am when our lovely neighbor began telling her doc why she was there. “Vomiting, and vomiting and vomiting. Well I’m such and such kind of tax lawyer,” she said. “I had this case where there was a priest and he was in over his head. I told him he was going to pay a lot of money. “
“In the courtroom,” she continued, “this priest was on the stand and started projectile vomiting and vomiting and vomiting.”
“Oh,” said the doc.
“Then the judge started projectile vomiting and vomiting. And then I started projectile vomiting and we were all vomiting and vomiting and…”
“Oh”
“Vomiting and Vomiting…”
At this point the orthopedic surgeon had arrived. It turns out that there aren’t even any tendons that run alone the part of my leg that I had cut. They stitched me up, drugged me up and I went home. I am not sure if I’ve heard the word vomiting so much in one night. Maybe I missed the punch line.

Later that summer we picked and juiced cherries from her school campus, did the same with apples, and dressed up as a doughnut and coffee for Halloween.

On labor day we went with Stacy’s family to upper peninsula. It was a good time. We had a tent pitched next to her parent’s camper. We went to yard sales, tourist traps, and lived the life. One night talking in my sleep I said, “I got to go pee so bad, so bad.” After a little bit of time Stacy asked, “Bray do you have to go pee?” Now half awake I answered, “So bad.” “Why don’t you go.” And off I went puzzled as to how she knew I had to go pee. I asked here when I got back. You now know what I learned then.

Artists statement No 2.

I believe strongly in the importance of the artist’s intuition. My belief is that an artist working naturalistically has an infinite amount of resource from his or her everyday encounters with life. An artist’s intuition will tell him or her if things “look right.” The trick is one’s ability to listen or hear the voice of one’s intuition. In my studies of structurally based drawing, I have worked extensively with the cube. Using this regular and simple form I have sought to hone my intuition by drawing from memory, drawing and redrawing cubes in multiple positions, and using my peripheral vision as an aid to tapping my intuition.
This emphasis on intuition by drawing structurally creates a wellspring of awareness and understanding of the subject matter. Through a well-developed understanding of simple forms such as the cube, I find a more keen and potent relationship to my subject matter. I try to take this context and allow it to free me up creatively. I try to express this through the subtle use of color, such as juxtaposing cool and warm temperatures.
I attempt to use my structural drawing exercises to help build a strong illusion of depth and space. It is my desire and intent to charge this space with a mood or atmosphere. I have started with simple spaces in which I attempt, using color temperature relationships, to give a setting for a simple clay or wax figure.
I select my subject matter with the intent of creating a specific meaning that is somewhat obscured or not completely clear to the viewer. I try to draw the viewer into the subject matter with room for the viewer to create his or her own narrative.

Artist statement No.1

In the account of Creation after the Lord had created something Scripture says, “And God saw that it was good.” This is a profound example of creating. God created and the very existence of the created is good. This high standard of making, for its existence to be good, warrants an artist’s best efforts.

I believe that the most valuable art is made in response to the Creator. It is my personal desire to make art that mirrors or speaks of life. I see life and vitality in Creation that can even become a catalyst to worship. As a student in Florence, Italy, I had substantial exposure to the art of Michelangelo Buonarroti. In particular, his marble sculptures carried something of a concentrated allusion to life that was captivating to say the least. As an artist who is attentively aware of the distortion of sin and the persistence of death, I take pleasure to work at finding life in even the most common, trite, and dispensable things.

I believe that Creation can be well used and utilized as a pattern for beauty.
The fact that God saw Creation and said that it was good is a compelling event. Beautiful trees, mountains, and wild life are spectacular examples of what God saw when he spoke. One of the often forgotten members of Creation is air. I particularly find awe and intrigue especially in the space between and the volume of the Created. I try to reflect this by making my paintings and drawings show depth and presence. I try to boil things down and un-clutter my paintings to emphasis the air and space.
As an artist I want to glorify God with my talents; I want to encourage people to seek after God, and I want to communicate something of God’s beauty.

Bowling No.2

I don’t know what I can say about bowling. It is interesting how in a world of very consistent gravity, and me who is as solid as a rock, the pins sometimes explode in submission to me and other times I cower at their impenetrability.
And where is the bowl in bowling? I’ve heard of drinking associated with bowling, three teams compete, two play, one team drinks and they switch.
A man of more impressive stature than me taught me by example that a ball thrown hard makes a frightening crash against the pins. I thought that a hard throw was a friend of the gutter. This man taught me NO! So I, though solid, am to this man, puny like a raisin is to a grape. I threw and threw with no success. The prized, elusive crash of pins was no where to be found, except at the hand of my friend.
I have a sad story to tell, you may have heard it, you may have witnessed it. It is of one who was so obsessed, so bent on success in his sport that he took performance enhancing drugs, steroids even. Why is it that bowlers never get accused of taking steroids? “Frank I’m worried about the size of that beer belly, last season you were half your size. The drug testing committee might get suspicious.” Nope that just never happens.
You know when I type my name in word and I get a dreaded red underline because the computer doesn’t know it, I think, with budding tear, how can my computer not know who I am?
Bye for now love Braden Joshua MacIntosh Lorenzo Williams

Love lessons with Manny

I learned a lesson today. I saw my grandmother-in-law see my wife after an extended absence. Her unashamed, almost vulgar excitement at her beloved granddaughter, made me feel strange. “She only loves her grandchildren so much because of their relation to her not because of their character, or the kind of person they are,” I thought. My initial distaste over this motive for love dissolved with the realization that God loves people in this way. With an unashamed, almost vulgar love, God loves us because we are his creation.

Remembering

So I was talking with some people about what was on our minds. One was worried that all of his and our hard work/ progress/ momentum would unravel. Another was overwhelmed with friends- wanting them, wanting to be a good friend, concerned of the kind of friend that she was being. I was bogged down with sickness and wanting to live my life effectively, productively, and directionally. Yesterday I, being fed up with sickness, devoted four hours to seeking God, by prayer and bible reading. God came. He showed up. He gave us understanding about my sickness and how to treat it, minutes after I finished praying. God has done this before but I’d forgotten.
Now to the other struggles I shout, “Does God not say that he loves us? Does he not know even the hairs of our head? Does he not love us so much that he wants to live among us, as he wanted to live among the Israelites even when they constantly rebelled? He is the only god who wants to live among his people. Who is it that we love enough to want to live with, only our spouses or a few others who treat us well? God wants to be with us when we don’t treat him well. Now does a god like this say, “Tough luck”, to any struggle? Doesn’t he even tell us to have joy?
I can hear some say, “Well what about…” fill in some hard situation. To which I say, “I don’t know, but what I do know is that I believe in the god of the bible who seems to be as stated. And when I believe in him the way he says he is, he shows up that way. Remind me in my next struggle whom God is so I can let him live among even my smallest struggles. Test and see that the Lord is good.
that is all for now
love braden jm williams

Bowling No. 1

Here is some news... (it is a little old)
I went bowling recently, but I bowled a 54ish. Some people like the way the ball fits nicely in the gutter. Feeling I should be a better American by wanting to be the best, you know win, I made use of a certain lucky hair clip, by clipping it to the bottom of my shirt. I think my competitors were wearing counter-lucky hair clips. Ain’t no thing.
When I lived in New York I encountered a pious woman who could not conceive of a Christian using the word, you know, the “L” word. So we came up with the term berries as a substitute. I feel so berries to be writing to you today.

There is a cat sitting here by my feet, he wants to go outside and it is snowing, which I think that we should say no-ing because I know of a lot of people are getting tired of the snow and when they talk about it they can say, “It’s no no no-ing again.” And I can say, “ Psh! I’m knowing.” Okay that was kind of dumb.

I like the snow, all of those wet socks, wet pants, yellow-ishness. I don’t know what is worse snow on the road or SOLID ICE. We were stuck on the road, well half on the road. I call me a man of steel, sheer muscle, bulked out to the L. I. M. I. T. with extra chiseled mass hanging out in my back pocket. I pushed, literally pushed, “me push car sideways” back onto the skating rink called conservation ave. my arms are gynormous. I tried pushing it later on our snowy drive, I think that I forgot my mega muscle drink that day.

On a lighter note, us working folk get hit hard with rising gas prices, visiting relatives is harder to do, running from the police, it takes a lot of gas to go 80, 90 mph. Me, I’ve started peeing in the gas tank.
Sincerely Yours braden joshua macIntosh Williams

What am I being told?

So I'm excited that I'm over 18 because that means I can start chewing or smoking Marlboroughs when I am ready to become a real man. I'll wear tight wranglers, ride a horse… I can't wait to get the chiseled physique and ridged jaw line. I'm not sure I'll have any friends but, psh! That Marlborough man doesn't need friends. Yep, when I am readyto be a real man I'll be able to do it all on my own.
It sure is easy living in this day and age because if I do want friends, I'll pick up a Bud. Every one seems to be happy with beer-friends. I might have to ask the women who come over to put some clothes on though, Michigan is cold and they don't seem to own more than bathing suits. I guess bathing suits do come in handy for all that mud wrestling and hot tubing, I wonder when my pit and tub will bedelivered.
I'm sure an advertisement theory prof. would tell you that the shirts and skirts that claim to instantly slim you is just a gimmick, a product of our instant everything culture, playing off of fears of obesity and the over emphasis on pencil thin models and actresses. All you'll hear me saying is: "Let me try that on! How does my buttlook?"
That is the news for now
love braden joshua macIntosh williams